Sounding off with your PC

For machines that were originally designed to sit in a back room and add things up, computers can make a surprising variety of noises - and not all of them are pleasant.

It's all Microsoft's fault, of course, for allowing Windows to sound off when there's an application error, when email arrives or when one of those pesky Office Assistants in Word or Excel attempts to step in to help you out with a problem.

When you first load Windows straight out of the box, the noises you're confronted with are relatively restrained (usually only the Start up and Shut down sounds are enabled) but if you know your way around a bit, you can quickly conquer this audio timidity and transform Windows into an all-singing soundtrack to everything you do.

Welcome, then, to the wonderful world of what Microsoft terms Windows 'Events': the computer actions to which you can assign particular noises. Delve in here and you'll discover how to turn on the full range of sound effects that any PC can produce and, perhaps more importantly, how to turn them off again.

Windows only plays a sound when it wants to tell you something. When it starts up and shuts down you'll hear the Windows theme tune, when something goes wrong it'll sound a single warning bell, it'll let you know as soon as an email message arrives and so on.

Find your way around
Everything to do with system sounds is kept in one place. If you're using Windows XP, select Control Panel from the Start menu, then click once on the Sounds, Speech and Audio Devices link (if you don't see this, Windows is set up in Classic View; just click the Switch to Category View command on the left of the window).

At the next screen, click Change the sound scheme and you'll end up at the Sounds and Audio Devices Properties dialogue box. Windows 98 users should click the Start button and choose Settings, Control Panel, then double-click the Sounds icon. Although these directions relate to Windows XP, Windows 98 offers the same features in the Sounds Properties dialogue box.

The Sounds and Audio Devices Properties dialogue box is where it all happens. Take a closer look at the dialogue box and you'll see a list of Program events. These refer to anything from the point at which Windows starts (though some might think it isn't much of an event) or when an application is closed.

Entering a transaction in Microsoft Money or going into an instant messaging chat room are also events, as are low-battery warnings on a notebook and shutting down a dial-up internet connection. Without even trying, a PC can accrue more than 100 sounds that can be associated with system or program events. You don't have to ask for them either - they are just installed with various pieces of software.

Those events in the list that have a loudspeaker icon next to them have an associated sound while those without, do not. Have a listen. Make sure your speakers are plugged in and then click once on any event that has a speaker icon next to it. Click the Play button and you'll hear the sound associated with that event.

Ring the changes
Don't like the sound associated with the event currently highlighted? You can easily change it. Click the drop-down arrow near the Play button and a list of available sounds appears in a list. Click on any of the sounds listed and Windows will assign it to the current event. You can audition it by clicking the Play button again, change it by choosing another sound from the list and then either confirm your changes by clicking the OK or Apply buttons, or abandon them by clicking Cancel.

You can also remove a sound from an event by clicking on it in the events list and then clicking on the drop-down list of sounds underneath. Scroll up to the top of the list and choose None and and you'll be blessed with silence.

System sounds are saved in 'schemes'. Click the drop-down list under the Sound scheme heading and you'll see the sounds that are currently installed. When you've finished making any changes to your current sounds, you can click the Save As button, type in a name for your sounds and then click OK to save them as a 'scheme'. This scheme will then appear on the list beside the others. You can switch between sound schemes just by clicking on them.

Which sounds are most useful? We'd recommend that you keep the Start up and Shut down sounds as audio reminders that these processes are occurring as they should. We'd also keep the following sounds:

• Asterisk (accompanies a message box)
• Critical Stop (accompanies a critical message box)
• Default Beep (plays when a process has finished or when you click in an invalid location on screen, among other things)
• Exclamation (accompanies a warning message box that requires you to do something)
• New Mail Notification (when email arrives)
• Program Error sound (which plays along with an application error message).

Notebook users should activate the low-battery warning sound, which should give you enough time to save what you're working on before your notebook runs out of juice completely. If you use a calendar application such as Palm Desktop, audible alarms for appointments and birthdays are a good idea.

Make your mark
Remember that Windows sounds are just wav audio files and are easy to create yourself (see box on the right) or find for free on the internet. If you visit websites such as A1 Free Sound Effects and Absolute Sound Effects Archive you'll find many hundreds of free wavs you can download and use to accompany Windows events without having to fiddle about or save them in another format.

By the time you've explored the various cartoon, horror and farmyard sounds available (including the rather bizarrely named 'swimming pool therapy for horses') you may begin to appreciate just how subtle some of Windows' built-in sounds are.

Many people work happily without using sounds at all but they play a valuable role and can be fun too. It is also easy to record your own or download new ones from the web, so there's little to stop you sourcing your own. Starting the day with a snatch of a favourite CD can help you get going, while setting your calendar application to play a snippet of your partner saying "Don't forget my birthday like you did last year", a couple of days before the event is an effective memory jogger.

Sound off
You can record your own system sounds easily enough by plugging a microphone into your soundcard (look for the microphone symbol so you know which connector to use). Remember that Windows needs to know which input you're recording from, so double-click on the speaker icon in the System Tray or find it in the Programs menu, which can be accessed via the Start menu.

The Volume Control settings dialogue box should appear on screen. When it does, click the Options menu and choose Properties. Select Recording, make sure that all the volume controls are ticked, then click OK. Select the microphone input to record from a microphone, or Wave to record sounds directly from an audio CD.

You can also use the Windows Sound Recorder application to create your own system sounds because it saves files as Windows wavs, which is the same file format used by Windows sounds. Store any recordings you make in the Media folder inside the Windows folder and they'll be available to use alongside your existing sounds when you open the Sounds and Audio Devices Properties dialogue box.