There are life rules we drill into children in order to help guide them through their youth safely into adulthood.

Don’t get into cars with strangers, wash your hands after using the toilet, and eat your greens are important rules that help us grow up normally.

We’re now suggesting another should be added to the list – don’t ever fall for the illustrious sheen of video game versions of animated blockbusters.

Be it Toy Story, Robots or Shrek – they’re inevitably and invariably dire. And unfortunately Happy Feet can be added to the list.

The characters are the same as the film, but unsurprisingly you don’t have the superstars such as Elijah Wood or Nicole Kidman handling the voiceovers.

The movie’s protagonist Mumble remains the centrepiece of the game, as you attempt to improve his respect among the cold emperors who have shunned him because of his unorthodox vocal technique. Being able to sing in key is the key in this alternative take on the Arctic animals’ community.

Sadly, it lacks all of the movie’s sublime visuals, snappy comedy and quirky touches. For a start the presentation is rather patchy, with ugly snowy landscapes and blocky characters making it a pain to look at in many segments.

There are some cute flourishes but they’re not enough to justify the wasted licence. And gameplay-wise it’s just a catastrophe, with a trio of segments all swimming aimlessly in the seas of mediocrity.

First up are the dancing sections, which are based upon the rhythm titles you find in many an arcade – except here you use the controller to follow the patterns on-screen as you shuffle your way to success.

A nice idea in principle but an untrained, blind penguin addicted to sleeping tablets could master these moves in a minute. And they don’t even have hands to press the buttons.

Next are the sliding segments, where you grace your way down hills picking up the usual speed bonuses and suchlike on offer. These are better, but only marginally and you’ll also have them polished off before the kettle’s even finished boiling.

The last section involves swimming for fish, and you literally move left and right to grab dinner in a similar style to the basic driving games that dazzled us in 1983. However, it’s not so dazzling in 2006 and there are preset games on mobile phones that are more complex.

There’s really nothing here to recommend and it almost feels like theft to expect parents to shell out for this. It’s not overly expensive at £20, but that’s still about £20 too much for an offering that should really just have been bundled on the DVD release as a little bonus for kids.

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